I've been laughing more recently.

This is only significant in that I never used to.

Not that I didn't laugh, but I didn't laugh out loud. I remember being in first year at uni and merely sniggering or chuckling.

I don't know what's changed, but these last few months I've been laughing - laughing properly and out loud at things.

I think I've started to be freer with my emotions, but I'm not sure. Been bottling them up so long, it's hard to tell.

The last few months have kinda been and emotional rollercoaster. When it all smooths out again, I'm hoping I'll still be laughing.

- y.

You know what single thing makes my game every time it happens? No matter what the venue, or who the character is?

It's quite simple really.

It's the point where I realise I've just discovered something new about my character. Something I didn't know before. Something that makes them what they are.

In some ways I'm quite of the belief that characters we create are something of ourselves - some part of our conscious or subconscious that surfaces and emerges primarily through the roleplay of that character.

Rocker for instance is an expression of my anger, the collected rage and emotion bottled up inside. (And there's a revelation for you as well)

But that gets away from the point of this post.

Last night, Laine revealed to me a lot. I know his goals, I know why he wants to expand his business, I know how he treats his friends and I know he hates being torn between keeping his Freehold safe and being Courtless.

So, yeh, Laine told me a lot last night. And it's up to me to act on that for him.

Tell me, do I sound a little bit crazy? Because it sounds to me like I am...